am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
