I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've blown a few things in my day
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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