Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
