What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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