I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
