I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
