I think my fart just growled at me.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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