it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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