just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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