Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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