I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
