I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
