I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
