i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
