I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
