just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
