I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
