So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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