i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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