Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
