This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
