when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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