Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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