wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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