just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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