I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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