Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
