we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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