i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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