how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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