That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
