i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
