Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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