I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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