You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The dysfunction is strong in this one.