I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!