Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
R you on birth control?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating