Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE