Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."