dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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