Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
