you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
