you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
