just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
