ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
