I'm going to jail i love you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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