i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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