So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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