Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
