ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
