I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
