Banned from zoo.
Again?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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