Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
