sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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