Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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