Just mADE A PArabola og urine
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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