Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
