Are we in a gay sports bar?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize