Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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