after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
