im drinking this country out of the recession.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
