Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
