come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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