did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
