I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
