So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
