girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
