Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
