So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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